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| Irish Member of Parliament, Danny Healy-Rae, could well pass for a gorilla. |
Recently I was invited by a company executive to view a PowerPoint presentation he was giving in attempt to dissuade his colleagues and partners from extending their company into the Republic of Ireland. It had been suggested some months previously that it would be financially advantageous if this company were to open a subsidiary in southern Ireland.
This proposal had been put forward for various reasons, some of which were to do with Ireland’s very favourable tax rates and the fact that property there is now being almost given away. Though, I suspect, it was more to do with Ireland’s very generous corporation tax and its very easily manipulated tax inspectors than anything else.
The executive – who was very much against his company setting up operations in backward Ireland – hadn’t much trouble finding suitable content for his presentation. That’s because there’s recently been a General Election (GE) in Ireland; and when he scanned news coverage relating to this event he quickly found what he needed to deter his partners from taking a financial risk there.
This proposal had been put forward for various reasons, some of which were to do with Ireland’s very favourable tax rates and the fact that property there is now being almost given away. Though, I suspect, it was more to do with Ireland’s very generous corporation tax and its very easily manipulated tax inspectors than anything else.
The executive – who was very much against his company setting up operations in backward Ireland – hadn’t much trouble finding suitable content for his presentation. That’s because there’s recently been a General Election (GE) in Ireland; and when he scanned news coverage relating to this event he quickly found what he needed to deter his partners from taking a financial risk there.
Josephine Byrne, Profit Protection Manager, Boots the Chemist
Subway and An Garda Síochána, Mill Street, Galway
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| Danny Healy-Rae with his brother Michael. Both are chips of Jackie’s old block. |
The stars of his presentation were two Irish politicians, Michael and Danny Healy-Rae, both of whom had been enormously successful in getting elected to the Irish Parliament – in their relevant constituencies in south-west Ireland both won an amazing percentage of the vote.
In Ireland they like to promote the pidgin language that’s known as Gaelic so Members of Parliament, instead of being known as MPs, are referred to as TDs (Teachta Dála). While it’s a moot point whether these two Healy-Raes should be known as TDs or MPs, what’s a certainty about them is that two more coarser and ignorant fucktards could not be found outside of a veterinarian psychiatric facility that treats nothing but alcoholic gorillas.
Michael and Danny are the sons of Jackie Healy-Rae and to say both are a chip of the old block would be the century’s gold-medal winning understatement. Jackie, now deceased, was a vulgar, unintelligent and self-serving bastard with the morals of a reptile; yet the ingrates in south-west Ireland ensured he was an ever-presence in the Irish Parliament since he first stood for election in 1973.
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| Danny and Michael’s father, Jackie. He kept his comb-over gelled with boot polish. |
As an independent TD Jackie Healy-Rae sat slackjawed in the Irish Parliament for nigh on forty years with his comb-over gelled down with black boot polish1. On the few occasions the government of the day were stuck for a supporting parliamentary vote Jackie could be called upon, albeit, his support always had a price. After voting for something he hadn’t a clue about he would then have probably trotted happily back to Kerry with a nice fat backhander in his pocket and joyfully threw his constituents a few scraps from his table.
Farmer’s Market, Cornmarket St, Cork
English Eoin, Irish Examiner
English Market, Cork city
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| The fucktards in Kerry are delighted with Danny's win. Now they’ll be able to book appointments with their GPs :-) |
When Jackie finally decided to retire the slackjaws in south-west Ireland dutifully trooped out and, in Jackie’s stead, voted his inbred and ignorant son Michael in as their TD. Then in the recent GE they added to this fog of apeshit that constantly emanates from this part of Ireland by electing Jackie’s other son, Danny, to the Irish Parliament.
Danny’s most recent newsworthy escapade was where he and a neighbour, Patrick Kieran Traynor2, attacked and assaulted each other over a boreen’s gateway. With all the ignorance and finesse of lobotomised gorillas in Kerry’s bleak and rock strew landscape they fought like two wild dogs over the use of a laneway that ran through a bog – it’s exactly what a pair of feral canines would do if they found a piece of rotted meat. Both ended up being treated in hospital for the injuries they inflicted on each other.
Fighting like low-land gorillas over waste ground, boundary fences or goat-tracks is very common in rural Ireland; you’d find it very hard to find two neighbouring farmers in this country who don’t spend their lifetimes at each other’s throats – as will their inbred sprogs when they eventually inherit the piece of swampy farmland. These inbred lowbrows are born with a major chip on their shoulders and the only time the backward bastards don’t fight and squabble is when they are asleep.
Neil Prendeville, publicly wanking Irish DJ
Will Ireland be dangerous for them?
What also nauseates about the Healy-Rae clan is how blatantly self-serving they are. For instance: Danny owns a haulage and plant hire company that’s managed by his son Johnny; and almost the entire business this company gets comes from Kerry County Council. Recently released records show that this company takes the biggest percentage of monies paid by the council for such work. But why shouldn’t Danny’s company be racking in the cash; before being elected to Dáil Éireann Danny was a Kerry county councillor as is his son Johnny.
A good part of the executive’s PowerPoint presentation was given over to the Healy-Raes and the tribe of fucktards that constantly votes for them. The Healy-Raes and the coterie of inbred idiots that elected them convinced the company’s management that backward Ireland wasn’t a place to do business in under any circumstances.
But what really clinched it for the executive’s argument to stay out of Ireland was an article he had come across in the Irish Examiner. The Examiner is the leading newspaper in south-west Ireland; and when the company’s management were shown its fatuous and sycophantic attempts to justify the election of the two Healy-Rae wankers they came to the conclusion that Ireland was completely down the sewer and that investing money there would be madness.
This company’s management rightfully saw that the election of two ingrate fucktards to the Irish Parliament just might possibly be explained away through electoral fraud – something that could be righted with proper policing. But for a major provincial Irish newspaper to come out in support of them in such a fatuous manner can’t be explained away with anything other than extreme backwardness and stupidity.
The Examiner’s writer, Donal Hickey3, shamelessly bleated on about how wonderful the self-serving and fucktarded Healy-Raes are. He describes this backward and inbred Kerry clan as Ireland's most colourful political dynasty. Then he goes on to claim the Healy-Rae tribe is a well-oiled organisation that has become an insatiable vote-hovering machine due to decades of hard work – the only hard work these boys ever undertook was to fill their personal coffers.
Hickey seems to be a brainless little Oirish bastard; he might as well have wrote an article praising the savage that beat French woman, Sophie Toscan du Plantier, to death with a rock in south-west Ireland a few years ago. Or one lauding the scumbag, Gerald Barry, who raped and killed Swiss student, Manuela Riedo, in Galway.
Apart from the fanciful adjectival phrases describing how wonderful the Healy-Raes are, Donal Hickey couldn’t even come up with one thing advantageous that either Michael or Danny has done for the betterment of south-west Ireland or its people – and that’s because they haven’t done anything other than throw crumbs and sops to the monkey-esque populace. The best Hickey could do in regards the Healy-Rae’s melioration of south-west Ireland and the people’s livelihoods was to make this claim: “Michael is known to be particularly influential in dealing with access to health services”.
Fancy that? It seems that in this part of Ireland if people need medical assistance or treatment they just can’t visit their local GP or hospital without first getting their local Member of Parliament to book them a place. This would have been handy for Danny Healy-Rae when he needed hospitalisation after he and his neighbour fought like apes over a patch of bog: his brother Michael would have surely pulled out all the stops to ensure he was quickly treated in the local hospital.
I can imagine an injured person phoning for an ambulance in south-west Ireland:
Caller: “Bejaysus, araghhhh, I need help … scream … an ambulance, my two fuc’ing
legs are broke. Paddy O’-cunting-Toole, the blind cunt, drove over me with his donkey and cart and smashed my legs ta shite. Will ya send an ambulance out for me?”
Operator: “Begorrah ya bastard, it’s 1-o’clock, what are ya ringing at this time for? Ya know we have our lunch between I- and 2-o’clock. Ya can phone back, ya cunt, after 2 … and what was that ya said ‘bout O’Toole driving over someone? Jayus, he did the same thing only a few weeks ago. Is he and his donkey blind or what?”
Caller: “Oh fuck, I’m very sorry ‘bout your lunch, didn’t know what the time was … the donkey stood on me watch and broke it. O’Toole is blind as a bat but I think the ass can see alright … araghhhh … I’m in huge pain, can you send a fucking ambulance?”
Operator: “Now listen you, my name’s Patrick Sean Liam O’Foyle-O’Sullivan-O’Brien an’ I’m related to people in Dáil Éireann, I won’t be putting up with aggression and bad language from the likes a you … do ya hear me ya gobshite?”
Caller: “Oh fucking Jayus I’m sorry … my shin bone is out through my fuc’king skin … araghhhh … I’m bleeding like a stuck pig. Jayus, please send me an ambulance or I’ll bleed ta death … oh jayus … I have two grand, lovely children … and I think I see O’Toole’s ass coming again”.
Operator: “Well now, watch ya’re mouth … oh yeah, it was an ambulance ya were phoning ‘bout … well now, we can’t be just sending ambulances out at the drop of a hat every fuc’ing hour. Who did ya vote for at the last election?
Caller: “I never voted in my life, sure I don’t know how to write and sure then how could I vote. But my wife … she voted for that Healy-Rae fellow, the one that broke his neighbour’s neck over the boreen.”
Operator: “She voted for the Healy-Raes, ya say? Well now, that’s good, that might be enough. The first thing you have to do now boyo is contact Michael Healy-Rae and ask if he’ll sanction the sending out of an ambulance for you.
“But it’s a quarter past 1 now and he won’t be home from Dáil Éireann yet. He should be home by about 8-o'clock this evening and then you can ring him in the pub. If he thinks ya’re worth sending an ambulance out for he’ll give us a call and let us know … if yar leg didn’t stop bleeding yet ya should take off yar shirt and tie it around the bit that’s cut.
“Was it O’Toole ya said ran over ya … do ya think he was drunk? If he was drunk we just might have to get An Garda Síochána involved … it’s a serious offence to be in charge of an ass while under the influence. I’ll run that by the Healy-Raes if they call me ... if they decide to send an ambulance out for ya.”
So there you have it, it’s ease of medical treatment that entices the inbred fucktards in south-west Ireland to rush out at every General Election and vote for a clan of self-serving Neanderthals to represent them in the national parliament.
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1Yes, he actually used shoe polish to colour his comb-over and keep it in place.
2Note how a lot of the inbred morons in this part of Ireland have bestowed themselves with double-barreled surnames. The double name is supposed to make them important; it’s similar to how sink-estate morons try to up their status in society by blinging themselves up. And like the sink-estate halfwits don’t realise the copious amounts of meretricious jewelry denotes them as idiots, the ingrates in south-west Ireland will never know that the double-barreled surnames simply points them out as emotionally retarded fucktards.
3It seems to be a prerequisite that one has an IQ of 50 or below before being considered for a position with the Oirish Examiner.
I am from the United States and on vacation with my husband and family in London. On the evening of March 13 my husband, my daughters and I—while sight seeing near Leicester Square—noted that there were large numbers of bothersome drunks in the area. These were both male and female and many were wearing green shirts—we assumed football fans—and all were very intoxicated and very obnoxious. We saw many incidents of harassment where these drunks caused annoyance to others and spoilt their enjoyment of the evening and area.
ReplyDeleteOne particularly disgusting incident took place on a crowded street just off the square when 3 adult males, all of whom were about 6 feet tall, accosted 3 younger people, two of whom were female—the three older guys were all in their middle 20s. The victims were nowhere near the size of their assailants but firmly held their ground. The 3 tall guys were drunk, obnoxious and very dumb.
We watched for a short time until bystanders assisted the 3 younger people and sent the aggressors away. This was when one of the aggressors did the most disgusting of actions. After being threatening to a person who came to the aid of the youths he put something like a piece of gum in his mouth and chewed it for a short time, then he took it out and tossed it at his opponent. He then repeated this disgusting act with another piece of gum, again chewing it momentarily and tossing it at his adversary—he obviously wanted to coat his projectile with his saliva and thus get his bodily fluids on his opponent. Gross.
We knew from the insults that flowed back and forth during this incident that the three guys were Irish—one of the victim's had sardonically asked an assailer where he was from, and the assailer replied with evident pride that he was Irish. It thus became clear to us that the many others in the area wearing green shirts also were Irish. When we later inquired if they were sports fans we were told they were celebrating their national day, St Patrick’s Day. In London the Irish are only allowed to have their parade on a Sunday near March 17 to save disruption when the 17 falls on a working day—as our pleasant concierge informed me.
The women were as drunk and obnoxious and confrontational as the males and none suggested they had any pride in their nationality or country. I’ve also been told that this kind of objectionable behavior occurs in London every mid March as the Irish celebrate St Patrick’s Day—many extra police will patrol the areas when they congregate and businesses and others will suffer some harassment.
In just under 3 hours of socializing in London on this Sunday evening my husband, my daughters and I also on 5 occasions observed adult Irish males intrusively confronting strangers while expressing guttural sounds. They would suddenly change their trajectory on the sidewalk and charge towards an approaching and unsuspecting pedestrian while loudly squawking something indecipherable. Sometimes they’d be ignored and at others admonished. It seems their goal was to elicit a response.
Of all the despicable acts we have seen in our lives—my husband and I have traveled much of the world—none comes near the Irish guy who first ensured his gum was covered in spit before tossing it at another person. On your website you make comparisons with baboons, and I think that is applicable here. My husband and 2 daughters were, to use my daughter’s terminology, grossed out by the high number of St Patrick’s day revelers who in such carefree manner displayed behavior more often—as your website suggests a few times—attributed to baboons.
Our vacation in Europe has so far been informative in a way we had never expected. Until Sunday evening I and my family had assumed that the animosity and suggestions of dumbness that accompanies the Irish name emanated in most cases from foreigner’s arrogance and cultural ignorance. Now we believe that arrogance or ignorance has only a minor part to play in Irish people being burdened with a reputation for ludicrous and abominable behavior.
You evidently have deep emotional issues to insult thousands of people who don't even know who you are. I thought that you were merely parodying anti-Irish bigots when I first read your blog because it was so childish and over-the-top. I was shocked when I discovered that your mean spirited schtick was not just poor satire. You sound like Cromwell's press secretary.
ReplyDeleteYou evidently have deep emotional issues to insult thousands of people who don't even know who you are. I thought that you were merely parodying anti-Irish bigots when I first read your blog because it was so childish and over-the-top. I was shocked when I discovered that your mean spirited schtick was not just poor satire. You sound like Cromwell's press secretary.
ReplyDeleteYou call me childish and over the top. Well, if I am, then I'm only following in the slipstream of the coterie of imbecilic morons blogged about above :-)
DeleteAs an Australian with full Irish heritage I find your articles quite entertaining! However I think you are somewhat confused in your belief in the Picts being the race from which spring certain ape-like Neanderthal features. My belief is that these features actually originated from the Iberians (who had bred with Africans) and who made numerous incursions up the Atlantic coast into Ireland over the past few millenia.
ReplyDelete“Iberians (who had bred with Africans)” No doubt, you’re correct. Every now and then in south west Ireland white couples will produce a black baby. I know that these days it’s quite easy for a wife there to cuckold her husband with a black sprog because it would be easy for her to have slept with a black man.
DeleteBut prior to twenty years ago you’d not find black people anywhere in rural Ireland and yet every now and then the happily married white Irish couple would return from the maternity ward with a black as soot baby.
I suspect this was because of the Iberians (who had bred with Africans) that you mention, their genes are lying dormant in the population and every so often bubble to the surface.
Interesting fact for you: In the west of Ireland many people have Iberian/Negroid skin tone and features – as well as ape like mannerisms and vulgarity. They like to claim that these features are “Spanish” and result from Spaniards who settled in western Ireland after being shipwrecked there when the Spanish Armada’s attempted invasion of England floundered of the west of Ireland coast.
But none of the Spanish who washed ashore in Ireland remained there. They were very soon gathered up by the English and returned to Spain. You see, Spanish officers and other high ranking personnel were worth a fair ransom in those days. And officers who were stranded in enemy territory would disguise themselves as common soldiers. Therefore the British gathered up every one of them.
As an Australian with full Irish heritage I find your articles quite amusing and entertaining!
ReplyDeleteBoris Johnson as your next pm ....give me the Healy raes any day .....obviously you'll be applying for an Irish passport .....happy queuing with all the other non eu .....souls 💚
ReplyDelete